Will: *on phone* Mr D? WE NEED YOUR HELP-
Dionysus: Is the camp on fire?
Will: NO, BUT-
Dionysus: Then it’s not an emergency
Dionysus: *hangs up*
Nico: Well? What did he say? What so we do about the portal to the deepest darkest pits of the underworld in his bedroom??
Will: Apparently this isn’t an emergency
Percy: *being strangled by a demon* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY???